Bureaucracy Fatigue

There are days I come home tired and worn after pouring all that I have and know into the service for my patients.

Today was one of those days.

So many needs presented with resources either exhausted or held captive behind a long list of difficult to obtain requirements, lengthy applications, and complicated verbiage.

If only my word - These people are worthy. They need you. They are dying. They might lose all they hold dear. Trust me on this! - was enough.

All I can hope for is that something I said or something I did really does make a difference.

Because if that application is denied I might just go crazy, along with the family I'm so desperately trying to help.

In the meantime:

Jailhouse Rock

"I don't know why they got me locked up in this jailhouse."

This is a repetitive phrase I hear from one of my patients who resides in a nursing home. So today, instead of offering my usual "I'm sorry. It must be frustrating for you," I decided to try something new.

I pulled out my iPhone and searched for Elvis Presley's Jailhouse Rock. I declared it as her theme song and showed her the music video. She looked at me kind of funny but watched anyway.

See, jail can be fun, I offered with a bright smile.

I'm not sure she bought it, but she did have a good laugh.

Maybe next time I'll bring her a black and white striped shirt.

Till Death Do Us Part

It was a Friday afternoon when I was called by the attending nurse requesting help for a family with their one and only wish: that their parents be able to spend their last moments together side-by-side. 

He was in the hospital. She was at home on hospice. She was declining rapidly. Then, he took a turn for the worse. The hospital wanted to send him to a facility for rehab. She was fading away in their apartment. 

The nurse and I began to call down the list of area nursing facilities, asking for one male rehab bed and one female inpatient respite bed, and Please, can they be in the same room? 

In my experience, this is difficult to find, especially with such short notice.  Both genders in the same room meant they also needed a private bathroom, narrowing the probability.  

I wasn’t very hopeful. 

A true miracle, one facility called back. They could accommodate them, but needed time to move their residents around. We’ll take it! 

Husband and wife, lovers until death, were reunited. This is their picture. She passed on Monday. He followed shortly thereafter. 

This is why I do what I do.

(Picture taken by a daughter and shared with permission)

A Day I'll Always Remember

Oh sweet, beautiful, little children. You're home from school and so happy to see me. Then you see the nurse, too, and the aide. I see the joy that flashes across your face. "You're all here!?" You hug me, all of you. 1, 2, 3, 4, and counting. Excitement rings in the air and in your heart. But a deep, soul anguish fills mine. My sweet, beautiful, little children. You are too young to realize that our presence here only means bad news.

Bearing Bad News

They're a young and attractive couple.

His love for her is felt by the way he looks at her. She lies in bed nearby.

We must give the bad news. The nurse and I. This is the first time I've done this. At least like this. To someone so young. How do I say it? Fumbling with the words. Too many Umms and Uhhs.  

She's growing weaker each day. Her pulse rate is high. There are no lower lung sounds anymore. You know how her appetite is low and nothing tastes good anymore? These are all signs that her body is shutting down. These are signs of dying.

How long, he asks. How long; we have to tell him.

One month, she says.

One month.

His face is flat and fixed. He stares blankly as we talk about ways to plan for what is to come. She lies in bed staring at the ceiling, unengaged.

I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Right now, I want to tell him it's ok. That this isn't real. 

It's like I'm watching a movie unfold before me and this is where I would grab a tissue and start crying.

But I can't. We answer his questions.

What do we do about arrangements?

Will the children need counseling?

What IS he going to do with a house full of children and no mother?

I don't know.

But what I do know is the same as he knows.

They are resilient. They are faithful.

And they are not alone.

Joyous Confusion

"Come on, let's go!" He says, with such exuberance it startles me.

He claps out a rhythm: clap, clap ... clap, clap, clap ... clap, clap ... clap, clap, clap.

He is grinning so large I can't help but smile and laugh along.

Okay, I say, let's go!

He grabs my hand and tries to dance with me.

Then, just as quickly as he enjoined me to dance, he looks up with puzzled eyes and asks, "Where am I going?"

Ah, if I lose my mind, this is the way I want to go.

Father Time

I met a man today.
It was love at first sight.

He is a gentle man with an eccentric flair. In his prime he was a man of accomplishment and prestige. Wealth and fame.

I imagined the man before me as the man in the picture frame across the room--a 15-year younger version. He looked vibrant, spirited then. Now, his face thinner, his body weaker. His health clearly fading.

We talked politics and religion. Culture and travel. History and current events. I was intrigued, comfortable, and saddened that time was passing so quickly. I didn't wish to leave this space in which I had found myself.

I cherish my moments with people like him. They all have something to offer me, to teach me. And I only hope I have something to offer them.

For him, I do. I can see it in his face when I tell him I must go. I see it in the imploring question he asks as my hand is on the door to leave. And I turn around, sit back down, and let him ponder some more. And I bask in the conversation a little longer, until that old, unfortunate, father time bids me say farewell.

"Oh yes, you must go. I've taken up too much of your time, haven't I?"

Oh dear man, if only you knew how much I enjoy these moments. The feeling is mutual, my friend.

And then I realize that my path would never cross with someone like his in any natural occurrence. It was my job that brought me here. And that leaves one nagging thought behind all this interaction.

You see, my job takes me all kinds of places. I go to the wealthy neighborhoods. I go to the poor neighborhoods. I go every place in between.

One thing is strikingly clear.

It doesn't matter if they are wealthy or poor. Accomplished or depraved. Handsome or homely. They all end up at the same place. With a knock on their door from me.

Gently I must inquire into his funeral plans. Gradually I must explore how he is coping with his mortality. What does it feel like to grow old, I want to ask. What does it feel like to live on this side of all those accomplishments? What does it feel like to go from prestige to . . . this?

I don't know. But time and again it hits me.

Death is no respecter of persons.
Live for eternity. All else fades.

~~~~~~~~~~

Holiday Headlines

From December 14 until January 12 we were without internet at our house. We were switching providers and there was miscommunication on when to discontinue with our previous provider. Then our current provider notified us that it would be a few weeks until they put a tower up in our area. Hence, no internet for a month.

We learned to cope however, and it actually ended up being quite nice, though at times incredibly inconvenient. David wasn't terribly affected because he could get online at his office at the church. I, however, had to rely on the connection from the parking lot outside the local dentist's office. After three weeks of missing my Friday Skype call with my parents, my desperation finally overpowered my nerves and, yes, I skyped from my car, in the parking lot, in front of the reliable dentist's office. My brother called this ghetto. What's a girl to do?

There have been some highlights during this past month that I've missed blogging about. So here is my effort to update.

CHRISTMAS EXTRAVAGANZA
David and I spent a week in Virginia with his family over the Christmas holiday. On Christmas day, a fire erupted in the kitchen. We're talking huge flames from the stove, reaching up to the cupboards above. Thick black smoke billowing along the ceiling. David saved the day, when, coming out of the bathroom in a hurry due to all the commotion, ran for the extinguisher, discharging it three times before the fire finally died. The culprit? A hot pad that was stuck unnoticed to the underside of a pot. Needless to say, we went out for Christmas dinner. To the only place open, Chinese.

COLLEGE DAYS
It all started with Groupon. I had five Hi-8 tapes sitting around my house containing footage from college that I had been meaning to convert at some point in my life. It's expensive! But not with Groupon. Last year I got a hold of a really great deal to convert old tapes to data files through a company based in Chattanooga. I snatched it up, sent in my tapes, and got the converted forms back by November. With no internet in the house, I suddenly had all this time for projects such as this. And I had so. much. fun. remembering, and laughing, and showing David who his crazy wife was back in those college years. Now that we have internet again, my editing of the files has been interrupted. =) But when I finish, I just might have to share. (P.S. Seeing myself with long hair inspired me to grow it out again. Ha.)

ONE-YEAR RECOGNITION
On January 12, I completed my first year at Hospice Advantage. I feel so blessed working for such a wonderful company with such tremendous colleagues. I feel like an official social worker. One year behind me already. Hard to believe. Always more to learn, but no longer a novice. Hospice Advantage gave me a congratulatory framed certificate and a pin. A fellow colleague who started when I did brought in donuts to celebrate.

CRAFTY CONFIDENCE
During the internet fast I also caught up on some sewing projects. I haven't done much more than mending, hemming, and altering. However, I am really enjoying learning more about my machine (that my husband bought me . . . two years ago(!)). My confidence has also increased as I try those bigger projects. During one, I went from total discouragement, convinced I had ruined it, to a breakthrough and saving the day! Well, the skirt, at least.

DOWNHILL DAREDEVILS
In less than one week, David and I will be leaving Michigan for Austria. Sounds like a good trade to me! David is speaking for a young adult ski/snowboard camp. We'll fly to Zurich, Switzerland, spend a couple days there, then drive to the Austrian Alps. In preparation for the slopes, and because neither of us could remember the last time we skied, we decided we should attempt some bunny hills in Michigan before braving the mountains. And again -- had. so. much. fun. We went to a small place a couple hours away. Started with the literal bunny hills, then moved on up to the greens. It didn't take us too long to get bored there, so we moved up to the blues in no time. We were really getting the groove down on those. I took a detour through a narrow path in the woods and hit a tree branch. (I could see that coming, but seriously, the last born child in me couldn't help but try it.) After taking a break for lunch I asked David if he was ready to try the black diamond. He responded very matter-of factly that he would not be going on the black diamond. He didn't want to get hurt right before Austria after all. Granted, we were trying to play it safe, for the most part. I didn't say anything. "Are you going to?" he asked after a pause. "Yep!" More silence. "Well, I'll come with you then." Yes! I thought.

So after a couple more trips down the blues, we braved the blacks. Upon getting off the ski lift and turning the corner to face the hill, we both looked down, then looked at each other, then looked down again. My eyes were wide, I'll admit. I wasn't sure about this after all. We waited a little bit to let the crowd go first. We watched them go down without much problem. "Okay, here goes nothing", my hero clad in grey gortex exclaimed as he pushed himself forward. I followed behind and giggled the whole way down. It was that fun. We spent the rest of the day here, only going back to the blue when we had to make our way back to the lodge. And wow, were those blue slopes short and small or what. We were amazed with our recurring knowledge that it is all so relative. These Michigan black diamonds will turn out to be pretty relative as well I'm sure. At least I hope. Here we come, Austria!

P.S. David did suffer a fall, no injury, when I "clotheslined" him (his words) coming off the ski lift. All I knew was, I stood up and skied down the off-ramp like you are supposed to (while hearing a muffled yelp behind me). I started laughing before I even turned around. Yep, he was on the ground. I was doubled-over. "Well, thanks!" he said with a glare. I just kept laughing and eventually he joined in.

The Last Breath

I knew she was ready to die, at least by all medical directives. She was terribly emaciated. Her flesh already decomposing. But here she was, still hanging on for weeks past the deadline we unofficially gave her. Her family was exhausted but lovingly supportive and present. They were ready. She seemed ready. None of us could understand why she kept hanging on.

Today, I thought, would be just another day. Her nurse had the day off. The chaplain was overbooked. Someone, though, should visit her. She often had periods of anxiety when she didn't want to be left alone.  Sure, I would go. I would love to.

I drove the 30 minutes to the facility of her residence. I signed in at the desk, asked a staff member how she was doing. They didn't know.

I walked down the hall and dropped my bag and coat at her door, put on gloves and a special covering over my clothes. She had an infectious disease. This was protocol.

I turned and went behind the curtain. I stopped. How it was possible, I don't know, but she looked even worse than last week. She didn't look alive. But she was breathing.

I went to her bedside and touched her shoulder. There was no response. Just breathing.

All outward appearances told me these were her last moments. But I couldn't be sure, could I? I second-guessed myself. I'm not a nurse, after all. But . . . the way she looked. The way she breathed.

I recalled the visit I had had with her a few weeks ago when she asked me to read to her from the Bible. She requested Romans 8. She was a woman of strong faith, and prayer, and Bible study.

I reached for her Bible.

I spoke to her.

It's okay.
I'm here with you.
You're not alone.

I rubbed her leg gently.

It's okay, my dear.
You can go.
Your family is going to be okay.

Her breathing lessened.

Rest, my dear. You can rest.
Be at peace.
Rest . . . in peace.

I turned to Romans 8, and looked up.
She was gone.
She had taken her last breath.

I sat there. I looked at the clock.
Only six minutes had passed since I had arrived.
I touched her shoulder once more.
Then called the nurse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I will always remember her for the gift she gave me. The honor to be present. An almost holy, certainly spiritual, moment in time.

I don't think there is anything quite like it.

I'm so glad she didn't have to die alone. But what an honor for it to be me at her bedside.
Thank you, my dear, sweet lady. You will always be remembered.

"For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  

Romans 8:38, 39

I will see you again.

A New Job, Part 2: An Update

Less than a month after the post regarding my new job, Hospice Advantage offered me a part-time position, which I excitedly accepted. February 28 was my last day at the Michigan Conference, and the week following I began 20 hours at hospice.

I love my work.

I just absolutely love it.

Someone asked me how it is that I could love my job when it revolves around other people's tragedy. I suppose it's the same with any helping profession. Here's my best explanation.

I don't love the fact that there is tragedy. I don't love the fact that people's lives are going to be changed forever because of sickness, disease and death.  But, I do love these people.  And loving them means I love helping them in any way I can.

I see that same thing in everyone I work with, which makes the environment that much more wonderful. They love what they do, too.  They have a genuine love for those they're helping.

I'm learning that loving the people we are helping means a variety of things; the love must manifest itself in different ways, different behaviors, with each person.

Sometimes it means providing relief by answering questions about death and dying, and the disease process.

Sometimes it means practical help in researching area hospice homes, or funeral homes.

Sometimes it means reducing anxiety by advocating for them to the hearing aid company.

Sometimes it means imparting joy by telling them they look beautiful today in that purple sweater.

Sometimes it simply means reducing loneliness by visiting them when no one else will.

Sometimes it even means letting go of my compulsion to help because the family thinks I'm too young and inexperienced.

Sometimes it means visiting anyway, even though my presence reminds them they have cancer.  Because when the denial crumbles, they'll need a shoulder.

And most recently, it meant sitting with a lone family member standing vigil at the bedside. Hearing her memories. Listening to her share her heart, knowing she just needed someone to be with her. It meant being there when the family gathered around the bed, while they stroked their loved ones arm as her breathing became distant. It meant giving a hug. Receiving a firm handshake. And hearing how much Hospice Advantage meant to them.

That's why I love what I do.

I don't love tragedy.  But being there for someone who's going through tragedy, arguably the ultimate tragedy, is a gift that, surprisingly to some, gives back 100-fold.  There's just nothing like seeing a lonely, confused, dying woman light up her countenance with a bright smile when you say she looks beautiful.

There's nothing like seeing an anxious woman wipe tears from her eyes after telling her things will be okay, that I'm here to help her.

Their stories, memories, the sharing of their hearts, changes me each day.  It changes the way I live.

That's why I love what I do.

A New Job

In an earlier post, I was reflecting on the goodness of God and I had said that I could speak of many different ways the Lord has overwhelmed me with His goodness lately. 

Well, another one of those ways has been through the gift of a second job. I am excited to report that I am now a per diem social worker with a local hospice organization. 

The way it all came together was truly through an outpouring of one blessing following another. From the timing, to the hours, to the staff, to the organization, I honestly can't imagine anything better fitting into my current life situation. God is so good. 

Last week I began orientation. It has been a busy time as I juggle both jobs and more lengthy hours during the orientation process. Soon it should settle down to a good system between the two jobs with my overall hours staying at a nice 24-30 hours a week. I work 20 hours at the conference office and since I'm per diem at Hospice Advantage my hours will fluctuate as they need me. I will have a few clients to keep me connected and current, but mostly they will have me fill in when their current social workers go on vacation/sick leave, or as their clientele expands or emergencies arise. 

The flexibility of this set-up is an answer to prayer as I've been wanting to get back into social work, but have not desired full-time hours or a situation with more strict guidelines on time off. I will also be able to start working towards my permanent license which requires 4,000 hours of practice. A l-o-o-o-n-g way to go, but what a blessing to begin the journey now.

Ramblings of a sick woman (but a very blessed sick woman)

Well, I am home sick with a migraine.  This one is a doozy.  Bleh.

Between lying in a semi-fetal position to ease the nausea, at the same time trying to balance an ice pack on my left temple area, while also trying to use a laptop, I must be a sight.

But it's one of those times when I can't nap because my brain is too wired, yet I can't move because my body is weak and stomach too sensitive. What is one to do in times like this? I need to do something without doing anything! If that makes any sense...

Well, it's a perfect time to write a blog.

What is new?

I have now been at my new job for a month and a half.  It's been good.  I keep so busy that the days just fly by.  It's been a little strenuous on me though because after 8.5 hours of non-stop busy-ness, I come home to gulp some supper down and off I am again with David on a home visit or prayer meeting; sometimes I'm eating supper in the car!  I love visiting people's homes and I love prayer meetings, which makes it easier.

Work has already taught me a bit about conflict management, saying things gently, and listening intently. I am also learning things about myself. I can't small-talk.  I'd rather just get in and get out.  Get what I want and go about my next task.  I've found that I'll walk up to someone in the conference office, say "hey do you know how I..." or "Here's the..." or "could you..." without a "Hey [Mary], how are you doing today?" You'd think I would have learned this skill in Mali, Africa, where you have to ask someone how they are doing, how their spouse is, their children are, how they slept, etc. before saying anything else.  I simply find it fascinating when I walk by an office and see two people talking about their children or what they did last evening, etc.  It's so strange because I love people.  People are so fantastic. They are funny, they are smart, they are peculiar, they are...well, they're great! So why in the world did I just cut someone short who was in my office trying to chat by saying "So.... is there something I can help you with?" :) Oh my... Well, I'm working on it.

Well, we are all settled in our new house now, except for putting up some decorations. YAY! It finally feels like a home.  My home! Our home! 

David is enjoying learning and growing through his experience as pastor. As in the senior pastor, or the only pastor. He just came back the other night from a board meeting and said "Wow! That was exhilarating." :)

We recently had a training on how to give Bible studies at Williamston and that was really powerful.  The church is small, so we were very happy with the 11 people that came for it.  It is really exciting to be a part of an evangelistic effort.  I can see the Lord really working in all of our lives, to bring us together with the common goal of reaching others with the truth.  As our trainer mentioned, "when you engage in personal evangelism, you are putting yourself in the center of God's activity." It's true. I can sense it already. Things are happening. Powerful things.  God is good.

Well before this gets too long I better sign off.  Hey! My head and stomach feel better! I knew I needed to blog! :)

One last thing before I do.

Reasons why I love being a pastor's wife (David's in particular):

- My spiritual walk is constantly being refreshed

- I get to learn deeper levels of flexibility (oh... we're going where for Sabbath lunch? And after that we're going where for what event? And then we're doing what with who on Sabbath evening? Oh, you're speaking tonight for Friday vespers? Oh, we're spending all day at Williamston which means there is potluck which means I need to have something to bring? etc.)

- I get to meet all sorts of people all down the spectrum and love who they are.

- I get to advocate for the underdog.

- I get to give my opinions on a sermon before I hear it on Sabbath. :)

- And I get to do social work on a grand scale without the paperwork! It can't get any better than that. :)

Blessings on the coming Sabbath.

Finding Our Place

David & I are now in Lansing, Michigan and have been as of Sunday, Jan. 27. For a little over two more weeks we will be staying at Candlewood Suites, an extended stay hotel practically on campus of MSU.

I am only 10 minutes from work, and a couple minutes from the University SDA church where David is pastoring. This will be our first Sabbath there and David already has a baptism! There have been key lay people involved in giving bible studies which has readied this young man for baptism tomorrow. Praise God.

Working for the conference has been great! Two out of my first four days have been snow days and the office was closed! :) I have to smile a little because Lansing schools close for weather conditions North Dakota schools wouldn't even blink twice at.  But I'm not complaining. :) The conference office runs like a school as far as snow days go. I have never heard of offices having "snow days" but if the weather is dreary enough, (and many schools in the area are having delays or closing) the conference office will either have a two-hour delay or completely close down.

My first day of work was on Tuesday. It was a good day of meeting everyone, filling out paperwork, and getting familiar with the building and my general role as the secretary for the Ministerial Department. My next and final day for the week was Thursday and I felt myself fitting into the role better as I made and answered phone calls, struggled with paper jams in the copier machine and paper folder, and chatted it up with the other employees. :) However, I have gotten sick with a cold and I am afraid a bit of the day was spent in a brain fuzz. :)  So I am happy that today is another snow day so I can try and recuperate.

We are waiting patiently for the 18th of February, which is the date we are to close on the house we are buying.This week was also spent meeting the board members of the Williamston Church and the University Church. The two churches are in stark contrast to each other. Williamston has an attendance of 15, membership of 30. University has an attendance of around 90, membership of 150. Williamston is a struggling church, with one man and one couple fighting for its sustainability. These three are not even from the area, but come as missionaries called by God to keep this church alive. University Church has doctors and laywers and dentists (one man drove up to the "meet the board dinner" in a Hummer) and is virtually on the campus of MSU. They have a transient, yet thriving, young adult population and are seemingly engaging quite well in evangelism to the university students and surrounding community. They have even just hired a Bible worker and hope to pay for her salary with church funds.

Both churches have very sweet and caring people and have opened their arms to embrace their new pastor and pastor's wife. But can a pastor's wife play favorites? :) I can't help it, my heart, my excitement, my passion, is for Williamston. Of course, it is nothing against the University church. I know I will love and embrace them back. But I find I share the burden as the three in Williamston do. I feel their deep yearning for a spark to ignite. I see their struggles and moments of discouragement flash in their eyes. And the social worker in me wants to come in and help them change the world. :)

But no matter the make-up of the church members, or the geographic location, there are always spiritual struggles. There is no way around those when you are dealing with God's people. And I am excited to become involved alongside David as we try to revive one church, and lead another down the straight and narrow.

May your prayers be with us.

Changes

Being a wife is one thing. Being a wife of a pastor is quite another.
Perhaps this blog will serve me well as an outlet for some of the idiosyncrasies of living "in the limelight".

It's just a little bit strange when, after introducing myself, a stranger says incredulously, "You're Pastor SHIN's WIFE!?"
Um, yep, that's me! :)

It is also a bit interesting when someone tells you they heard a church member say, "And he didn't even introduce her to the board!"
Oops, did I need to be voted on? :)

But it is all in fun that I write these things, and all laughs when we go home and share some of these experiences with each other.

There's been a lot happening around this house lately.
David and I are moving to Lansing, MI on Jan. 27, where he will be pastoring the East Lansing University Church, right on campus of MSU, and the Williamston church, in a suburb of Lansing.

I will be working as secretary to the Ministerial Director in the conference office. It is here where I get to be the one receiving phone calls from concerned church elders, or giving support to pastors, as well as many organizational-type tasks like being the seminar coordinator for campmeeting.

We accepted the counter-offer on a townhouse we like in the DeWitt area, another suburb of Lansing, so should be moving in by Feb. 18 if all goes accordingly. It's a really nice 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 story place, with a 2.5 car garage and a washer and dryer (yes!). It is super low maintenance and for that I am happy.

Between Jan. 27 and Feb. 18, however, we will either be living in a church member's basement, or a furnshed apartment managed by a church member. Although that's not exactly my idea of fun, you really do have to love church members for being so nice! In fact, our realtor and loan officer are church members too!

Now that we'll be new on the scene in these two churches, I better make clear right away before hopes get too high:
1. I don't play the piano
2. I can't cook
3. I've never told a children's story in my life
4. I can't sing

Yikes, I'm not looking too good... lol.
But they did rope me in to reading the scripture this weekend. That I can do... (Yes!) :)

I am thankful that "His biddings are enablings." -EGW :)

Keeping Busy

This week has been tremendously busy with many activities.

First, we had a group of ten from the UK who came to help us work on a children's home we're building in a local community. They also decided to give our offices a make-over. Here are some photos.

I guess there isn't actually anyone from the UK in these pictures, :) but we all helped and it was a tremendous blessing to have them here. The top picture is me with the other women I work with at IPI. Below is a picture of the children's home I mentioned above: KACH- Kithoka Amani Community Home. Kithoka is the name of the area and Amani means peace in Swahili.
Next, I was able to meet the US Amabassader. He came to talk with some of the women leaders of Meru to discuss women issues in politics. Very interesting meeting indeed.
Later on in the week, a couple from New Mexico came to learn more about IPI and our Education Fund Program. It was fun to have them here and I was able to go on a couple home and school visits with them.

On one home visit, we met with this family. There is a single father (wife died from childbirth complications) with three small children.

This is their house. No bigger than a walk-in closet. Pictured are the couple from the US and Kathy, with gifts of food for the family.
This family truly touched my heart. I was able to give the children some gifts that my home church sent with me. Aren't they so precious?

We brought the family bags of food as well, including maize meal, beans, sugar, flour, bread, butter, jam, and some laundry soap.

Here we visited a school and presented some gifts to special ed school children.

Earlier last week, I helped create and market a campaign dinner hosted by IPI for our President, Karambu, who is running for parliament this December. This is our “billboard” displaying the event.

Also, while I’m at it, below is a picture of the SDA church I regularly attend.

This is Thuranira, one of the men from our courtyard. He is hired by my host to do things such as cook and do our laundry. We get along well, despite the language barrier, and have a good time laughing with each other.

And finally, Meru (and Kenya as a whole really), being predominantly Christian, oftentimes has verses or Christian sayings posted in the most unique places. These are two verses inside a local transport van. Walking along the streets of Meru, you might also see the Hand of God Cyber Café, or the God Provides Taxi Cab. Wouldn’t it be interesting if we displayed our Christianity so flamboyantly in the States? Or would that cause too many lawsuits?

Working Hard

Where I work:

That's me! Here is my office and office-mates:

Kathy-Programs Director and my direct supervisor
John- a volunteer that I work with frequently, and Kathy again (different day)

This is my desk!

Below-Some videos of my work place:

International Peace Initiatives from Tennille and Vimeo.



My Office from Tennille and Vimeo.

And, upon request: :)


My Bathroom from Tennille and Vimeo.

Headlines

PREPARATIONS CONTINUE FOR INTERNATIONAL INTERNSHIP
Yesterday I purchased my ticket for Kenya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A huge milestone in my preparations for interning with IPI in Meru, Kenya. It is actually becoming a reality and I couldn't be more excited. I will be gone for four months, leaving August 6, (the day after I GRADUATE!!!) returning December 5.

MILESTONE IN A.U. STUDENT'S LIFE
I guess I should say 'the day after I march.' I'll be marching in August, but recieve my diploma in December when I have completed my 600 hour internship. Wohoo! I just handed in my application for graduation and advancement to candidacy forms today. It feels so good to be on this side of the Masters program. Only two more classes to finish up this summer and then my internship in the fall... and THEN... the real world.... :s

WORLD'S LARGEST ARACHNID SPOTTED IN SMALL TOWN MICHIGAN
That's right. There is a HUGE spider right outside my door measuring in at 2.5 x 3 in. I measured it myself. 

SCANDAL IN BATTERED WOMEN'S SHELTER
More lies, deceit and manipulation. Assertiveness training continues. But among the games are moments of rapport building, laughing, crying, transporting, sharing, encouraging and bonding. Seeing women obtain a job, their own apartment and self-esteem is worth the mess we wade through.

And the best for last:
WOMAN SPOTTED HOLDING YOUTH PASTOR'S HAND
The life of a pastor's girlfriend... :) I wouldn't have been suprised if that was actually a headline in the Village Church's bulletin a month or two ago. :) Many of you already know about the special someone in my life, but I just wanted to make an official blogspot declaration. It is long overdue. David Shin, you are the love of my life. And I'm very much looking forward to what the future holds.... ;)

What a Day

Here I was thinking that as soon as the semester was over I would have more time. Wrong was I. Terribly wrong.

I have recently started a new full-time short-term job as case manager at a domestic violence shelter for women and children. I was hired to cover for their regular case manager who is on a six week leave. It's hard to even know where I'd start to help you get a glimpse of what it is like to work there. It's fast paced, crisis oriented. There's yelling and fighting. There's working with punk welfare agents and estranged family members. There's interesting racial dynamics and even more interesting staff dynamics. There's working overtime and lunch on-the-go. But suprisingly, I am enjoying it. I got up this morning worried and stressed, not knowing what today would bring. But I left feeling like I had found my niche. God is good to me. It is only He that gives me the strength and ability to work in this kind of environment. Today, for example, I literally had a face-off with a client's abuser. I was in my car, he in his, and the girl standing in between, not knowing which car to get into, not knowing who to believe. He had convinced her to meet him. I had intercepted and wouldn't back down. Quietly we both begged for her to get in our own vehicle. She told me she was scared. She told me not to leave.  I realized then that the decision for her was harder than I can understand. And more dangerous than I realized. This was a battle of good and evil in more real terms that I've ever experienced. And I prayed. 

Please Lord, send your angels. 

He did.

Safely, we devised a plan which sent him on his way and her with me back to the shelter. I know the problem is far from being solved and she might very well go back to him as many women do. But to know that I postponed it one more day gives me the passion to continue on tomorrow with this kind of fast-paced, assertive-building kind of work. And to trust in God for all my needs. There is nothing like being outside of your comfort zone to build dependence on Him.

just a bunch of nothing

Today was a lovely day. I slept in a little bit, went to work, delivered a gift bag for my boss to her husband, went out to eat with a friend, cleaned the house, bought groceries and worked on my application to intern at International Peace Initiatives in Kenya.

I wish doing the dishes was like washing clothes--only something you had to do once a week or two. It seems like my life revolves around the dishes. Eat breakfast, go to school, do dishes. Go to work, eat, do dishes. Go swimming, eat, do dishes.

Yesterday I had a lovely date with God. I've discovered that I can get extremely antsy if I spend most of my day in my apartment doing homework. It's unfortunate that there isn't a Barnes and Noble close by, or any other good study place besides the campus library. That's where I used to go...but...then I heard that is where all the seminary boys go to scout for wives.  So... when I felt a moment of soon-to-be-anxiety coming on after hours of working on a "poverty among the working poor" policy paper, I said "Hey God, let's go out." So I grabbed a McChicken sandwich at the drive-through window and headed to the beach with my "Thoughts From the Mount of Blessings", sunglasses, and beach towel.
The winds were high. The waves were being tossed. And the sky was a most beautiful blue and yellow as the sun moved toward the western horizon. Nothing like North Dakota sunsets, but it was majestic nonetheless. I am always suprised at how much I love being close to the water. I don't realize it until I go, and every time a big 'sigh' escapes my lips and I ask myself "Why don't I do this more often?"

This weekend is October break. On Sunday I'm taking my first trip to Chicago with a group of friends. I am thrilled.
I also get to receive a nice, big carton of winter clothes that a neighbor of my parents is bringing me. Yay.

Have you ever had an experience in which you keep seeing this one person everywhere from a distance who you met just briefly a year ago and you know that you both see eachother and they probably recognize you too but you never know if you should yell "hi" from across the campus or not? Well I am having one and it's really starting to bug me. The next time I'll say hi okay? Okay. Well..maybe...it might be weird....

So it is late afternoon on Friday and I'm just wasting time waiting for prayer meeting to start. Really what I'm doing is neglecting to work on a paper before the sun goes down. What do you think about raising the minimum wage? Living wage? I might have to do a PUBLIC, in-the-community-where-I-could-get-eggs-thrown-at-me, speech on it. :s

Oh dear, the dishes are waiting for me....