South Africa - First Day

We arrived to South Africa yesterday night at about 9:15pm. It was after 26 hours of travel time from Michigan to our final destination of Johannesburg, South Africa. Our flights were uneventful and went by faster than expected. Johan and Matilda (a local pastoral couple) picked us up from the airport and brought us to their home in Pretoria, where we stayed last night and will again tonight before moving to the camp grounds of the Sedaven Camp Meeting, where David will be speaking.

Today we awoke at around 7:30am, had a relaxing morning and a delicious breakfast. Then by 10am we were off to an appointment at the University of South Africa (UNISA).

David had previously been encouraged to check out their Ph.D in Systematic Theology program as they have a prestigious and world-recognized reputation as well as a very developed distance-learning program (no, we would not be moving to S. Africa for David’s doctorate), not to mention it is very affordable with the exchange rate of the dollar. I was able to sit in on the interview as well and enjoyed the experience. The department seemed to be impressed with David’s dissertation idea and by the end guaranteed his acceptance to the program! We are thrilled! It will be an interesting and exciting process from here.

Later, after lunch and a nap, we spent the afternoon preparing for the seminars and presentations at Camp Meeting.

I am actually considering helping David out with one seminar, but I haven’t committed yet. See, what happened was that another couple from Michigan (Dane & Vicki Griffin) were supposed to be here instead of us, but with Dane’s health condition (reoccurring cancer), they were unable. Instead, David and another Michigan pastor (Mark Howard) were asked to take their places. Here is the catch—Vicki Griffin is the MI Conference Health & Temperance Director, and was slotted to speak to Women’s Ministries and the Shepherdess about health! Well, they gave David two of her slots. Women’s health is not exactly David’s forte! However, he has been a good sport about it and has been trying to prepare something applicable. In the meantime, I kind of offered to maybe help him a little bit, if I could pull something together in time. I have actually wanted to put a presentation together on mental health, specifically on recognizing and changing our self-talk. I figured this was an opportunity to get me working towards this goal, but I haven’t promised I would finish it in time. We’ll see how it goes! I might be too scared to present it anyway. There are around 7-8,000 people who attend this Camp Meeting and I don’t know how large the women’s meetings will be. It just might be a little too large for my first presentation! =)

At any rate, our experience so far in South Africa has been very enjoyable. As expected, South Africa is more developed than Kenya and is leaps and bounds ahead of Mali. It seems I move a step up, in regards to amenities, each time I come to this continent. The home we are currently staying in has all the items expected in a traditional American house, including internet! Quite a step up from searching for internet with a satellite on a hilltop (Mali) and even from having to go to an internet café (Kenya).

Well, tomorrow is another eventful day! We just heard we will be leaving at 9am to meet up with Mark Howard and then go to a nearby game reserve and lion park! Afterwards, we will move to the camp grounds, where Camp Meeting will begin on Thursday. I’m not sure what the internet capabilities are at the camp ground, so this may be my last and only entry until we get back. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! I am truly blessed to be able to “tag-along” on this adventure!

Weekend Fun

This weekend held some extra adventures. 

After church at Williamston we drove off to Berrien Springs where later that evening David baptized three individuals from previous baptismal classes. Praise God!

Afterwards we were able to connect again with our much missed camping club.

On Sunday, a friend of David's, Alden Ho, was gracious enough to take some pictures for us. I call these our post-wedding pictures.

THEN! On Monday morning, I finished the very last thing standing in the way of me holding my Master of Social Work diploma-- my portfolio defense. It went great! It was tremendously encouraging and affirming.  And when I walked out of the ad building after confirming my new name for my diploma and my new address for it to be mailed to, I was almost surprised at how light my feet, bouncy my steps, and joyous my soul was. I can breathe.  I am done.

Waiting to Fly

Well, I'm off to Meru, Kenya for my 4 month social work internship with IPI. It still seems surreal that I am about to embark on this journey. I have no idea what to expect, have no clue who the person is picking me up or where I will be staying my first night in this Eastern African country. But it should be an adventure!

May God use me for His glory, this is my prayer.

Update: Well I made it to Amsterdam and am happy to see I have internet access. I also thought I'd post some pictures from graduation this weekend. My family was able to come up/over/down to share in the celebrations. I'm very happy to be finished with all the class work.

Headlines

PREPARATIONS CONTINUE FOR INTERNATIONAL INTERNSHIP
Yesterday I purchased my ticket for Kenya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A huge milestone in my preparations for interning with IPI in Meru, Kenya. It is actually becoming a reality and I couldn't be more excited. I will be gone for four months, leaving August 6, (the day after I GRADUATE!!!) returning December 5.

MILESTONE IN A.U. STUDENT'S LIFE
I guess I should say 'the day after I march.' I'll be marching in August, but recieve my diploma in December when I have completed my 600 hour internship. Wohoo! I just handed in my application for graduation and advancement to candidacy forms today. It feels so good to be on this side of the Masters program. Only two more classes to finish up this summer and then my internship in the fall... and THEN... the real world.... :s

WORLD'S LARGEST ARACHNID SPOTTED IN SMALL TOWN MICHIGAN
That's right. There is a HUGE spider right outside my door measuring in at 2.5 x 3 in. I measured it myself. 

SCANDAL IN BATTERED WOMEN'S SHELTER
More lies, deceit and manipulation. Assertiveness training continues. But among the games are moments of rapport building, laughing, crying, transporting, sharing, encouraging and bonding. Seeing women obtain a job, their own apartment and self-esteem is worth the mess we wade through.

And the best for last:
WOMAN SPOTTED HOLDING YOUTH PASTOR'S HAND
The life of a pastor's girlfriend... :) I wouldn't have been suprised if that was actually a headline in the Village Church's bulletin a month or two ago. :) Many of you already know about the special someone in my life, but I just wanted to make an official blogspot declaration. It is long overdue. David Shin, you are the love of my life. And I'm very much looking forward to what the future holds.... ;)

Resurrection at Apt. 3

It was only a simple e-mail. Only a few words on an average Friday morning.
But it resurrected within me my soul.

It said "Welcome to the IPI family. You will love it in Kenya."

And my world has stopped. And I can breathe.
It reminds me once again of Mark 4:35-41.
I think it goes something like this:

As evening came on a certain stage of my life, Jesus said to me, "Let's cross over to Michigan. Andrews University." He was already ready to go, so we started out, leaving family and friends behind.

But soon after arriving, a fierce storm arose. High waves began to roll into my world until my life was nearly full of water.

Jesus appeared to be sleeping at the back of my life with his head on a cushion. Frantically I woke him up, shouting, "Savior, don't you see that my world is out of control?"

Jesus awoke and he rebuked the wind and said to the water, "Quiet down!" Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. And he asked me, "Why are you so restless? Ye of little faith."

And I was filled with awe and said, "Who is this Savior of mine, that the world stops at his voice? That even the winds and waves of strife and stress obey him?"

But the funny thing is, is that my world hasn't stopped at all. It's still going, still filled with too many daily tasks that I can't finish in 16 hours. It's still piling up and I'm still scheduling and re-scheduling and living from one assignment to the next.

But the difference is--there is a great calm. Because I have renewed vision. My spirit is back. My soul is alive with a purpose I had forgotten and let wither. A purpose behind each assignment. A reason behind each stress. Each responsibility. Each change, plan and option.
There is a Savior behind each storm just waiting for my call.

A Time to Breathe

I hit the ground running on Sunday, Jan. 7 and haven't stopped since. This semester is a doosey. I don't think I've ever been this busy in my entire life. Between work and class and study, there hasn't been a lot of time for sleep much less free time or me time or any other time to do necessary things like buy groceries, get an oil change, or pluck my eyebrows. All of which I finally got to do today. All of which should have been done three weeks ago. But God provides. My food never ran out, my car never broke down, and my brows, well...they stayed plural.

It's now 2:15am and this is the first chance in awhile I finally have time to breathe. So I'm breathing. I praise my God for this blessed gift called Sabbath. It's so much more than resting. It's so much more than church and potlucks and time with friends. It's getting reacquainted with that Breath of Life.

Sorry I haven't been around my friends. Yes, I am still existing in Berrien Springs. My body still resides at the same address. My mind seems to make home in a million different places and my soul somewhere else completely. But sometime I'll find myself and emerge back into the land of the living.

In the meantime some short, brief tidbits:
I took in a wonderful friend, April, who was suddenly out of a place to live. I am enjoying her company very much. I think it's the one thing that is keeping me sane. The human contact is priceless.

My headaches have been more frequent due to lack of time to sleep. I got scared when I realized I'm taking WAY over the recommended dose of pain killers and bought some natural herbal migraine remedy today.

I started a new job transcribing research interviews. I like it. I'm learning a lot about methamphetamine, pseudo ephedrine, and DeVos Youth Leadership training.

I am hitting stroke-inducing stress, as expected, from the class "Leadership in Social Work." I have embraced the fact that I'm simply not a leader and very much enjoy my role as supporter/nurturer/encourager. However, to do that means an F in this course. The resulting inner tension has yet to be resolved.

I love my Friday Night Camping Club. I love them. I laughed so hard tonight it made me remember why I love people, and bonding, and growing, and enjoying eachother together.
I love my God. I love Him. His reminders, His patience, His longsuffering, His faithfulness, His blessings. Thank you for the renewed perspective on life--everything is meaningless save from God and people and winning souls for Him.

Life at Andrews

They say Michigan is part of the Mid-West. I beg to differ. There's just something different about the Mid-West and its people. Something I can't quite put my finger on, but its there.
And I miss it.

I jammed my thumb while playing keep-away with a kickball last Sunday. The swelling has gone down but it is still black and blue and sore. Today as I was going through the lunch line my finger went numb. But I refuse to go to the Doctor. They've already stolen $25 from me and went for another but I won that fight.

So I have been feeling the need to organize and explain the groups of friends I hang out with here. First is "the camping club," which is the name given to the group of us that meet on Friday nights for our own little vespers and prayer. It consists of an April Olsen (Unionite), Kari Lund (Unionite), Scott Tschetter (S.Dakotan), David Shin (Youth Pastor, from VA), Jerry Wasmer (Worship Director for PMC (Pioneer Memorial Church), from TN) and myself. The camping club title came from an inside joke long before I was initiated into the circle. They've never gone camping together but that is beside the point. I am probably the closest to this group of people.

Second is the "Integrate group" which I call because the majority of them are in charge of a Saturday night vespers/bible study program that I go to called Integrate. This group consists of most of the camping clubbers as well as a Michael Goetz, Michael, Rueben, Kyle, Melanie, Julie (a Social Worker), Oswald and a few others but these are the ones I'm closest too.

Then there is "the revival" group. Which is what I call the group of us that meet every Sunday morning at 7am(!!) to pray for personal and corporate revival. This group consists mostly of the same Integrate people I just mentioned.

Then last but not least there is the infamous Union group. You know, Unionites are like the Chinese. Wherever you go, you can bet to find a "Union group" ...much like China towns. Which I am so blessed for. They keep me connected to that good 'ol Mid-West I was talking about.
The Union group here consists of Seth and Angela Pierce, David & Eunice Jahn, Jeff & Mary Ellen Carlson, Greg and Melissa Howell, Kari Lund, April Olson, Jerry Wasmer (sort of), Amanda McGuire, and Katie Lechler.

Of course, there are a number of good people attached to the sides of each of these. There is also Nicole, whom I went to Mali with and is attending Andrews as well. Then there's Jodi Beck, whom I met at Union when she came for one year and is now finishing a degree at Andrews. I don't know what I would do without these two girls.

So there you have it. My good friends. What would I do without them? They have been my lifeline at times. Keeping me sane and having a blast.

As far as school goes--it's much better. God has been good to me. I have had some incredibly encouraging moments over the last week that I give God all the credit for. He has done miracles when it comes to my latest test scores and paper grades. AND I just talked with my field director about this Kenya option for my internship and it is really looking more and more feasible, which just gets me SO excited I can barely handle it!!

With that said, I am off to my camping club, soon to meet up with the Integrate group where a member is speaking for an Andrews Vespers called Mosaic.

"Wherever you are, its your friends who make your world." I can't tell you enough how true that is.

F is for flavor

Remember that group paper I mentioned in Sunday's blog? Well, we got it back today, or, yesterday rather, as it is now in the morning hours of Tuesday. Yes, we got it back alright. My first F. The majority of the class got F's in fact. And the majority of the class was raving mad.
Remember how I said I talked with the "many others who felt the same way"? Well those many others are planning to talk to the chair of the department with their complaints.
And I'm not sure what to do. But I think something big is about to happen.

So I just spent the last 5 hours of my evening/early morning revising and editing. And talking with a fellow group member about her big dreams for the next 20 years of her life. She likes to talk. That's okay, I like to listen. Even when there's a big F on a paper that needs to be redone. Somehow it brings me peace to know that this hasn't distracted me from the important things in life.

It was weird. When I saw our group's grade, no shock went through me. No gasp escaped my lips. I raised my eyebrows and said "hmmm...." A bit unusual for those who know me. Granted, from all the hubbub this paper was making I didn't expect much. Although admittedly, I thought we'd get more like an F+ at the worse.

It's all an experience though. Now I can say I've gotten an F before and can relate well when others complain of that one teacher or that one paper or that one time when..., and at least I'm in the same sinking boat with two other people. And a whole classroom. It eases the blow.
The flavor of life might be sour right now, but if there wasn't a sour there wouldn't be a sweet. Perhaps it's building my character, even if it is depleting my energy.

Being Rebuked

One professor, one class, and suddenly I was reaching stress levels never known before in my existence. I couldn't understand his reasoning. I couldn't understand his theories. I was revolted by his teaching methods. I reviled his arrogance. I was convinced of his lack of application of the textbook to class discussion (and still am).

Suddenly, I was battling thoughts of "maybe I'm not graduate school material." "Maybe this isn't for me."

So when a group paper was due I went to talk to him. During the meeting he openly insulted my group members. He told me at the end of the session that beforehand he had thought of me as a student bordering on "brilliant" but now considered me more on the "mediocre" level. And all I could do was blink.

I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to get me to push harder. He was trying to get me to put my heart into it. But might there be another way to encourage that? I posed to myself.

So I left his office and I protested. and I criticized. and I brought out all the things he was doing wrong. I conversed with the many others who felt the same way. We defended our rights as students, as financial suppliers, as people upholding to the profession's code of ethics. We attacked his status as an Adventist and a teacher. And something inside me whispered sadly "Tennille..."

Then a take-home mid-term was assigned with 5 essays that made my brain hurt. After spending three hours staring at them, typing a paragraph and erasing, typing, erasing, my mind numbing, my nerves aggravating, my dispair mounting, I concluded that there was no way around another visit with him. And I prayed.

So I went. Two hours later I left, and suddenly, I saw him as a different person. He was real. He listened to my frustrations and patiently explored my questions. He told me to throw out his concepts if I didn't like them. He told me to stop second-guessing myself. He told me something I've never heard before. He said "Somewhere, someone once told you that it wasn't okay to think for yourself. That you had to listen to the teacher even if you didn't agree. That you had to obey the rules and follow orders. And that makes me mad."

And I was rebuked. For here was a man I had detested saying he was angry at the way the world works...for me.

And now by God's good grace and mercy, I understand. And over the last week I have received innumerable phone calls from other students asking ME to explain to them the essays. Believe me, not because I am any wiser, but because God has bestowed on me His forgiveness and granted me HIS understanding.

Another lesson learned. Another chance offered.

my week in a whirlwind

I took a trip to Chicago a week before yesterday. We went to the zoo and the Cheesecake Factory where I ordered "The Navajo"--chicken, lettuce, tomatoes, etc. between frybread--and promptly found out I was the only one who had heard of frybread before. I was astounded.  I hadn't realized that frybread was mostly contained to the Native American culture.  Learning is much more fun when it takes place in my daily social life then in a classroom. Although, right now I'm in Advanced Clinical Assessment and we're discussing schizophrenia vs. devil possession and it's intriguing as well. (I also learned not to ever take a group larger than one car load to Chicago if you want to stay cheerful.)

Zach came to visit me this week! Union College was on Fall break so he caught a ride up here and arrived early Thursday morning. Friday he caught a ride up to Great Lakes Academy to see Dario for the remaining part of his trip. What a blessing family is. His visit was the highlight of my week. Unfortunately the weather wasn't very cooperative but we made the best of it. We were able to pick two bags worth of concord grapes for free with my North Dakota connections and I gave some to friends. My first time eating concord grapes! Yum.

I was accepted to intern at IPI in Meru, Kenya! I am incredibly excited about this but trying not to be as there are still some hoops IPI has to jump through before we can make the assumption that it will meet my MSW (Masters in Social Work) needs. That aside, this organization appears to be exactly what I want and all I could hope for in an internship and future occupation. I am leaving it all in God's hands however and I know that if His desires for me are the same as mine, He will provide the way.

This week has come and gone with its handful of joys as well as stresses. But another sleep-deprived, migraine-ridden day over, another large paper handed in, another two-hour, early morning prayer session for revival, another hot shower, and another day being reminded that if God is first everything else will fall into place, and life is back to being beautiful.

On a humorous note: I just finished a journal entry for Death & Grief class and since there wasn't a reading assignment this week with which to draw my thoughts from, I decided to google the word ‘death’ to see what came up. Interestingly enough, the first site listed was titled "The Death Clock—When am I going to die?" My curiosity was peaked. I clicked the link and it took me to this very intriguing site where, after a series of questions, I learned that “my personal day of death is—Monday, June 5, 2062.” Leaving me with 1,755, 572, 287 seconds left of life and counting. I could also look up famous celebrities’ death clocks and discovered I will live one year and four months longer than Britney Spears. Interesting.

just a bunch of nothing

Today was a lovely day. I slept in a little bit, went to work, delivered a gift bag for my boss to her husband, went out to eat with a friend, cleaned the house, bought groceries and worked on my application to intern at International Peace Initiatives in Kenya.

I wish doing the dishes was like washing clothes--only something you had to do once a week or two. It seems like my life revolves around the dishes. Eat breakfast, go to school, do dishes. Go to work, eat, do dishes. Go swimming, eat, do dishes.

Yesterday I had a lovely date with God. I've discovered that I can get extremely antsy if I spend most of my day in my apartment doing homework. It's unfortunate that there isn't a Barnes and Noble close by, or any other good study place besides the campus library. That's where I used to go...but...then I heard that is where all the seminary boys go to scout for wives.  So... when I felt a moment of soon-to-be-anxiety coming on after hours of working on a "poverty among the working poor" policy paper, I said "Hey God, let's go out." So I grabbed a McChicken sandwich at the drive-through window and headed to the beach with my "Thoughts From the Mount of Blessings", sunglasses, and beach towel.
The winds were high. The waves were being tossed. And the sky was a most beautiful blue and yellow as the sun moved toward the western horizon. Nothing like North Dakota sunsets, but it was majestic nonetheless. I am always suprised at how much I love being close to the water. I don't realize it until I go, and every time a big 'sigh' escapes my lips and I ask myself "Why don't I do this more often?"

This weekend is October break. On Sunday I'm taking my first trip to Chicago with a group of friends. I am thrilled.
I also get to receive a nice, big carton of winter clothes that a neighbor of my parents is bringing me. Yay.

Have you ever had an experience in which you keep seeing this one person everywhere from a distance who you met just briefly a year ago and you know that you both see eachother and they probably recognize you too but you never know if you should yell "hi" from across the campus or not? Well I am having one and it's really starting to bug me. The next time I'll say hi okay? Okay. Well..maybe...it might be weird....

So it is late afternoon on Friday and I'm just wasting time waiting for prayer meeting to start. Really what I'm doing is neglecting to work on a paper before the sun goes down. What do you think about raising the minimum wage? Living wage? I might have to do a PUBLIC, in-the-community-where-I-could-get-eggs-thrown-at-me, speech on it. :s

Oh dear, the dishes are waiting for me....

Feeling Schizophrenic

I just finished counseling myself.

It was quite an interesting assignment. Well, it's an ongoing assignment really, so I just finished one leg of it. Maybe more like a toe.

The assignment is a paper written in dialogue format--a conversation between a therapist using cognitive therapy (me) and the client (also me).

At first, I wasn't very thrilled about it nor this class as a whole. Advanced Practice 1, it's called. Also known as Cognitive-Behavioral therapy. The thing is...is I don't want to counsel. At least not in a formal, one-on-one, in an office with me behind a desk and a client in a chair, "so how does that make you feel?" format. That's not me. I'm not going into therapy! So, WHY do I have to take this class on it!? In fact, my emphasis is Administration and Development, as opposed to the other offered emphasis of Interpersonal Practice. Where is my class on grant-writing?  Or on organizational and community assessment?

But you know, this class is growing on me. I never knew what counseling myself could do. Or what kind of crazy subconscious/automatic thoughts would surface. Now, I may need to explain what cognitive therapy is all about. Basically, in a nutshell, it is based on the theory that your thoughts affect your mood. Wow, pretty foreign concept there, right?  There is a lot more to it, but that is the really short version. So in this assignment, I have pinpointed something about myself that I'd like changed. Then I examine my thought processes that surround this negative aspect of myself and I find healing/restoration in changing the way I think about it or what I tell myself. I evaluate if what I say to myself is accurate, and if it isn't, I change it to become more accurate. Does this make sense? To make it a bit more crazy, instead of pairing me up with another student who would be my therapist and I his/hers, I am my own therapist. This way I can work on my skills as a therapist (though I'm not becoming one) as well as make some positive self-changes while I'm at it.

And I say some pretty wild things to myself. You can just take my word for it.

In conclusion,
Tennille the client says: I should probably get to bed. Tomorrow is a big day.
Tennille the Therapist says: That sounds like a very good idea.
So goodnight myself. It was nice visiting.

Back to School

My first day of school is over.

I think I need to go back to bed.

It's when all the papers and essays and presentations and interviews and counseling sessions and City Board meeting visitations and portfolia requirements and everything else that has to do with your school life as you know it for the next four months are thrown at you in less than three hours. Oh the joys of that first day of school.

But it's over.
I met new people. I exchanged phone numbers. But most importantly, I felt a renewing of my passion for Social Work. And politics. And hospice. And international work. And though the stress can be overwhelming, deep down, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. It is here, at this moment, when I feel the most motivated. It is here where my dreams can become a reality. It is here when I think I can conquer the world. Soon, most likely, these feelings will fade as school becomes that mundane daily task, but right now, I....AM INVINCIBLE! lol.

And so it goes. This wonderful thing we call life.